Key & Peele – Proud Thug

Key & Peele – Proud Thug


– OKAY,
LET’S GET THIS THING GOING. EVERYBODY TAKE A SEAT. WE GOT TO HAVE
MORE MEETINGS, HOMES, ‘CAUSE I’M TELLING YOU, MAN,
WE GOT TO GET ORGANIZED. [sighs] [police sirens in the distance] CARLITO AIN’T GOT A SEAT, MAN.
SOMEONE GET HIM A CHAIR. – NO, I’M COOL. – NO, DUDE, GET HIM A CHAIR,
HOMES. – I’M GONNA SIT GANGSTER. – BUT, CARLITO, IT DOESN’T LOOK
LIKE IT’S COMFORTABLE, MAN. WHY DON’T YOU
JUST SIT IN THE CHAIR? – I NEVER SIT
IN NO CHAIR,ESE.MM-MMM. YOU NEVER, EVER GON’ CATCH ME
SITTING IN NO CHAIRS. – HEY,ESE,YOU KNOW THAT
THAT’S LOCO, RIGHT? – NO, MAN.
[scoffs] – IT’S COOL, CARLITO. NO ONE’S GONNA THINK
YOU’RE SOFT IF YOU SIT IN A CHAIR, HOMES.
– YEAH, YEAH. – WE’RE ALL SITTING IN CHAIRS.
– RIGHT. – BUNCH OF BITCH-ASSCULEROS.QUE?
– I DON’T HAVE NO TIME TO SIT IN NO [bleep] CHAIR. – OKAY. NOW THAT WE’RE ALL HERE– YOU KNOW WHAT?
BUT WHY, THOUGH? LIKE, IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE
FOR YOU TO SET YOURSELF UP WITH A RULE LIKE THAT. – NO, IT’S, LIKE, LIMITING.
– YEAH, LIMITING. – LIMITING.
– I MEAN, SOMETIMES, PEOPLE SIT IN CHAIRS. – MAN, [bleep] ALL OF YOU GUYS
WITH YOUR BITCH-ASS CHAIRS. [wood cracks] – THERE.
– [scoffs] – OKAY, CARLITO, QUIT PLAYING
AND SIT IN THE CHAIR,PENDEJO.– NO.
– CARLITO, WE HAVE TO HAVE THIS MEETING
NOW,ESE.GET UP! – I’M GOOD RIGHT HERE, MAN. – YOU KNOW–
– I’M CHILLING. GO AHEAD WITH YOUR MEETING. – OKAY, BUT YOU KNOW
IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD. YOU DON’T CARE
THAT IT’S GOING TO BE WEIRD? – WEIRD FOR YOU, MAYBE. – HE DOESN’T CARE.
OKAY. OKAY, HOMIES,
SO THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, LIKE, WE GOT TO SELL
MORE DRUGS… – [groaning]
– AND WE GOT TO MAKE MORE CRIMES HAPPEN. ROBERTO, WHERE ARE WE–
– [groaning] – CARLITO,
YOU’RE BLEEDING,ESE!– [grunts]
WHO CARES, MAN? [winces] – YO, WHOA!
YOU JUST GOT SHANKED, MAN! WE GOT TO PULL THAT OUT!
– LEAVE IT! I’M CHILLING, HOMES. I DON’T CARE
ABOUT THAT STUPID SHANK. [groaning] [exhales] – CARLITO. CARLITO, WAKE UP, MAN! [radio chatter] – HEY,
DON’T EVEN BOTHER,ESE.– WHAT?
[screams] OH,DIOS MIO!– I DON’T NEED
THOSE DEFIBRILLATORS. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO COME BACK
TO LIFE, HOMES. – CARLITO,
GO BACK INTO YOUR BODY. – MY BODY’S STUPID, HOMES.
– WHAT? – I’M FINE RIGHT HERE
ON THE SPIRIT PLANE. LIFE IS FOR PUSSIES. [heavenly singing] – CARLITO.
CARLITO, GO TO THE LIGHT. – NAH, I’M GOOD, MAN. – CARLITO,
THAT’S HEAVEN, MAN. – I DON’T NEED TO GO
TO HEAVEN, HOMES. HEAVEN IS FOR PUSSIES.
– OH, BOY.

100 Replies to “Key & Peele – Proud Thug

  1. I was a medic in the army, and he is right! Donโ€™t pull that "shank" out, it could be what is keeping him from bleeding out and it could cause more damage removing it. Oh wait… too late.

  2. that one guy in the group that try to act tough when everyone knows he's just trying hard. been that dude. laughing at myself now hahahaha!
    being tough is being natural. Acting as yourself in front of many people is my definition of being tough now.

  3. Plot twist because of his personality they never could allow them sell drugs or do crimes inadvertently being a nice person and stopping a gang making him worthy or heaven

  4. Are we not going to talk about the guy at 1:26 who pointed like 4 seconds after everyone else stopped pointing?

  5. Brooooo Keagan Michael the perfect complexion to pull of any race ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I died when he said โ€œEverybody take a seatโ€ like bruv he legit looks like a Mexican gangbanger!

  6. โ€œMan fuck all you guys with your bitch ass chairs…โ€ – table breaks , collapses on floor –

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ Iโ€™m dying.

  7. Cameo by the guy weโ€™ve all seen play the Mexican gangster in 47 different crime dramas โ€œIz like…leemitingโ€๐Ÿ˜‚

  8. Heaven is indeed a false light matrix by the echo remanants of archons within a holographic cosmos. He is right not to enter it. Chillin induces theta gamma which takes you straight to nirvana essay..

    Carlito is gonna be just fine!!

  9. I still don't understand why these mean looking gangsters still keep him as their member ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

  10. That's me on alot of subjects especially fixing relationship issues.. relationships are for bitchs I'll stay single with my pride. Dammmm you to hell Spaniard pride.

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