[Please keep these English subtitles
accurate for deaf / HoH viewers] [If you want the hilarious subtitles,
switch to the English (Canada) CC] SHINOMIYA: All right, we’re back.
Now don’t say the S-word. This kitchen is a rental. *A rental*. SŌMA: Got it. SHINOMIYA: Cool. So as I was saying… In regard to your issue of a challenge… Pfft, no. SŌMA: But why, dude!? SHINOMIYA: ‘Cause I don’t gotta, *dude*. Besides, one look at what I’m cooking and you go
down faster than a gâteau basque at a fat camp. [Whooshing sound] [Car door closes] [Tires screech] [Car whooshes] [Crash] [Rapid footsteps] [Rapid footsteps / panting] [Door opens] [Keypad sounds] AUTOMATED VOICE: Access granted. [Mechanical door opens] [Rapid footsteps] [Another door opens] DŌJIMA: HA-HA! That’s what she said! (Panting) Did I make it? (Panting) I made it. Ha-ha! Awesome. INUI: Oh? Hello! Where am I? MEGUMI: D-Dōjima? And Sex Offender Teacher Lady? DŌJIMA: In the flesh, Crying Child! So, Shinomiya… I think I heard that
this kid wants to pound your ass. SHINOMIYA: Oh, I mean he wants to try, but– DŌJIMA: Finish that sentence
in my office, CONSARN YOU! SHINOMIYA: I wasn’t going to accept. DŌJIMA: *What*? You’re not going
to grant the last request of this… …d-dying cancer boy?! SŌMA: What? DŌJIMA: Roll with it, boy! I think he’s buying it. INUI: Yeah! You should let the boy pound your ass! DŌJIMA: Pound your ass indeed, Shinomiya! Well, majority rules, so… SHINOMIYA: Alright, alright; look, if you’re just
gonna *bully me* into a fight *with a CHILD*, then we need to establish some ground rules. DŌJIMA: Naturally! If Sōma wins, then Megumi’s expulsion is rescinded, and, he gets your Pluspol Medal! SŌMA: Medal!? MEDAAAAAALLL!!
SHINOMIYA: Fine. Then if I win, I have to memorize zero names, because I get to expel the *both* of them! DŌJIMA: I see your double-expulsion, and raise you
a two-week all-expenses-paid trip to Miami, Florida! SHINOMIYA: *One* week, and I get every
last slice of American cheese in this resort. I can finally exterminate all the worst parts
of this godforsaken place in a single bet. DŌJIMA: Done! Hinako, summon
the Camp Council of Elders. We meet in the Repurposed
Underground Sex Dungeon at dawn! [baritone] Behollld! [normal] We’re here! Don’t worry about interference. No one comes down here.
Not after the re-purposing, anyway. DAVE: (Painful orgasm) DŌJIMA: …D’okay; *one* guy comes
down here, but he’s a weirdo. MEGUMI: (Gasp) W-w-what are the C-c-camp Councilors doing here? DŌJIMA: Allow me to explain… Assembled in this great hall
of a Repurposed Sex Dungeon, there are gathered the world’s
three most powerful forces of judging, created from the iron furnace of the Tōtsuki Academy! MIZUHARA: You forgot my name. Didn’t you, Dōjima? INUI: (Monkey screeches) DŌJIMA: Feel free to use anything
in this dungeon to make your dish… DAVE: (Painful orgasm) DŌJIMA: Goddammit, Dave!
Repurpose your *own* sex dungeon! SŌMA: Alright, Frenchy! Dish me your worst.
I can take *anything* you throw at me! DŌJIMA: Oh, and one more thing… Have fun! Because everything you
care about in this world is on the line. No pressure! MEGUMI: (Panicked breaths) ‘This is too much…’ ‘I don’t… I don’t think I can do this…’ ‘I’m facing against a Michelin-starred
chef, for Pete’s sakes…!’ ‘This is hopeless!’ ‘Oh, no… The light is descending in…!’ ‘Th-This is the end!’ SŌMA: Hey! Hello? Hello; are you there, Megumi? Megumi, I don– If you’re not gonna talk, I’m gonna scream
louder and louder until you get to know me! Hey, Megumi! Megumi, if I say “hey” one
more time, IT’S GONNA BE REALLY LOUD! HEEY!!
[Smack] MEGUMI: Ouch? SŌMA: I’m talking here. You gotta
get in the game, Megusta! We gotta– MEGUMI: Well, I wanted to– SŌMA: No, no, no, no, no; you don’t need to
think; just do what *I* tell you and we’ll win. I got this in the bag. You can just, uhh… take a break! ‘Cause, you know… It’s not like you can do anything, anyways. [echo thoughts] ‘Anyways, anyways, anyways…’ [Flashback thoughts]
MEGUMI: I-I cook too… SŌMA: SHUSH, MEGUMI! Guy’s talking.
Be a little more respectful. Hey, Megumi. I stayed up *allll* night
cooking up a new recipe. Clean up the kitchen behind me.
Gotta go to bed. MEGUMI: I bet Sōma’s having
a pretty rough time on his own! SŌMA: HEEY, MEGUMII! I passed! Hey, Megumi! Could you hold the
sizzling bacon while it cools off? MEGUMI: Sure! Oh, let me just get a plate. SŌMA: Oh, thanks! Here! MEGUMI: Not on my hands! AAH! I made everyone rice balls! SŌMA: I ate everyone’s rice balls! SHOOT THE BEAR! THE *BEAR* IS THE EVIL ONE! [Machine gun firing]
MEGUMI: NOOOOOOO! [Present; echo thoughts] ‘…Anyways, anyways, anyways.’ [Snap] MEGUMI: [sotto] Shut up. SŌMA: Huh? What was that, Megumi?
I couldn’t hear you. C’mon, speak up! MEGUMI: I said… shut the FUCK UP, SŌMA! SŌMA: Uh? MEGUMI: I’m DONE letting you boss me around! SŌMA: Wa– Ho– Hold on a minute,
tha– now that’s jus-s-st rude. MEGUMI: NO!! You don’t get to say a *damn* word! You’re going to listen to *everything* I have to say! DO YOU HEAR ME, UNDERBITCH?! SŌMA: “U-underbi–“? MEGUMI: Na-uh-uh! Not. A. Single. *Word*. Got that? SŌMA: Mm-hmm! MEGUMI: Good! Now let’s kick some French vegan butt! SŌMA: Nnnn! MEGUMI: I’ll start on the tomatoes. Sōma!
SŌMA: Hm? MEGUMI: Prepare the shoulder cut
and remove the tendons. SŌMA: Hm! MEGUMI: Next, start on the liver.
When you finish that, prepare the fat pack. SŌMA: Mhmhm! SHINOMIYA: ‘God, this dish takes a while to boil.’ DŌJIMA: 99… 100! Ready or not, here I come! I mean, uh… Time is up! Present your dishes! GOTŌDA: Is that a… lettuce burrito? MIZUHARA: Gotōda, you’re a French chef.
You should know this dish. SEKIMORI: Let the burrito tasting… commence. Hajime! MIZUHARA: I hate… all of you. *So much*. GOTŌDA: (Sniffs) (Pleasurable sigh) DAVE: (Painful orgasm) GOTŌDA: Dave’s not the only one
coming this time. Ohhh, baby… DŌJIMA: This cabbage… ♫ …has put a spell on meeee! ♫ ♫ And now, you’re miiiinnneee! ♫ INUI: ♫ It put a spell on meeee ♫ ♫ And now I’m… Cabbage RED! ♫ MIZUHARA: I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this… C… C-Cabbage Blue. DŌJIMA: [macho tone] Cabbaaaage-u…! PINK-U! GOTŌDA: Also, I’m here! ALL: Magical Cabbage Assembled! SEKIMORI: Wha– What’s going on?
Should I have brought a costume? SHINOMIYA: Oh, come on, guys! A choreographed
transformation sequence AND a song? If I had known you were gonna do all that,
I would have made something special! DŌJIMA: Honestly, that was
more for us than anything else. We spent too much money
on those cabbage costumes to have them rot away in a sex dungeon. SEKIMORI: D-did you have one of those for me, or… Why am I never let in on the costume situation? DŌJIMA: Crying Child and Other – present your dish, so that it may be judged by the Camp Council of Elders, and so we may decide your fate. SŌMA: Mmgm! Mmmgmgm! GOTŌDA: Hmm.
SEKIMORI: Interesting… SHINOMIYA: What is that? INUI: It’s lasagna! MIZUHARA: Seriously? SHINOMIYA: Oh. So you’re *actively
trying* to fuck with me. I assigned a terrine on my recette,
and you think you can do better than me! MEGUMI: Uhh! T-t-that’s not it! My whole life up to this point has been a struggle. [Flashback] CHEF: You get an “E”. And that’s a BAD thing. STUDENT A: Wow, is that Megumi? I heard she failed. STUDENT B: And she’s letting down the whole school. STUDENT C: I thought “E” was for *Egg*! SHINOMIYA: [as Cooking Mama] You failin’ stuff
because I’m *the*, not *a*, a THE A BIG, A FAT, ME! And don’t you forget it. [Present] MEGUMI: But it’s all made me stronger.
Made me more confident. I’ve overcome every obstacle
that I’ve faced up to this point, and I’ll overcome this, too! DŌJIMA: The winner is… Shinomiya! MEGUMI: Uh wha? DŌJIMA: *I said, the winner is Shinomiya*! MEGUMI: But– SEKIMORI: The difference in skill was too vast. MIZUHARA: There was nothing
you could have done. I’m sorry. GOTŌDA: Also, I’m here! Hey… MEGUMI: ‘But that means Sōma’s…’ SŌMA: [sad] Mmm… MEGUMI: I tried so hard… and it wasn’t enough… SHINOMIYA: Listen, I’m sure Dōjima doesn’t want tears added to whatever toxic cocktail is caked into the floor. So how about you and the Red-Haired Kid
cry it out *together* on the way home? Ouh-buh-by–! [Clack]
MEGUMI: Huh? SHINOMIYA: ‘Scuse me? DŌJIMA: Surprise-Guest-Judge Dōjima
votes for the Crying Child! SHINOMIYA: You cannot be serious. DŌJIMA: It’s probably been hard… …you *stagnating* the way you are. SHINOMIYA: What did you just say to me? DŌJIMA: Were you trying to keep it a secret?
Well, trust me, it was obvious. The way you were when you graduated, you had a fire
in your belly and you were gonna take on the world. And now… Well… Try it! SHINOMIYA: (Stumbles) With that
excuse of a recette, I’m not going to–! DŌJIMA: Try it! SHINOMIYA: You better not a say it a third time, or– DŌJIMA: *Try it*. SHINOMIYA: Oh shit, now it’s really funny. DŌJIMA: What do you have to say, Shinomiya? SHINOMIYA: I don’t need to say anything.
That dish speaks for itself. It has the love of someone who not only cares
for cooking, but for those who eat the dishes. Well done, Tadokoro. I’ll be seeing you in class. INUI: I ALSO VOTE FOR THE CUTE GIRL! (Laughter) (Heavy perverted laughter) SHINOMIYA: *I already said she wasn’t expelled*! Never mind. I-I try to be nice for once
in my goddamn life and this happens. DŌJIMA: Congratulations on your continued
enrollment in our school, M-m-m-megumi! We’re proud to have you as a member of Tōtsuki! MEGUMI: ‘I did it, Mama.
I finally earned my place in Tōtsuki!’ COOKING MAMA: Great! You gave it your best effort! MEGUMI: (Sobbing in joy) DAVE: (The usual) SEKIMORI: Kind of awkward… Why did we just stand there and watch a girl cry? …For an hour? DŌJIMA: Ha-ha! Etiquette! Never leave a girl alone in a sex dungeon. SEKIMORI: By the way, it was awfully nice
of you to let them back into the school, Dōjima. DŌJIMA: Was it? After all, their biggest challenge yet is right around the corner. MEZMOREEYEZ: Greetings, people
of the Internet. Dōjima here! If you liked this episode, then like this episode! If you subscribe this episode, then do that also! And if you wanna be just as
cool as *Dōjima Fuckin’ Gin*, then don’t forget to tip the chef on Patreon! Toodaloo, buckaroos!
Medal?
MEEEDAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You do awsome work.
I honestly have no fucking idea what is happening everything goes by so fast
Wheir is gordon ramsy and soma main character bs
Megumi Best Girl.
Ooooooh, that's some good berserk button. Cathartic.
Since I knew this episode was comeing I decided I would try a new pancake recipe.
Pancake batter:
1/2 C whole wheat flour
1/2 C almond flour
1 t salt
1 t baking soda
1/3 t xanthan gum
1 C whole milk
1 egg
~2 T poppy seeds
Combine dry and wet ingredients seperately then mix together. add poppy seeds to completed mix.
Fruit sauces: (I made another with blackberries and blueberries with only 1/4 t arrowroot powder.
~1 C strawberries
~1 C rasperries
1 T brown sugar rounded, loose
1 1/2 t vanilla
1/2 t arrowroot powder
Blend berries, sugar, and vanilla in blender (warm berries if frozen first).
Pour blended mix into pan and simmer till thick, stirring occasionally to ensure nothing burns. add arrowroot powder if you get impatient. Remember, sauce will be a lot thicker once cooled.
Preheat oven to 360 degrees.
Select pan for pancake batter being mindful of how the finished product gets out of it. I used a ceramic pie pan. worked very well.
Oil pan and pour pancake batter in.
Cover half of the batter (minus edges) with one sauce and the other half with the other sauce. Use as much of the sauce as desired, the any leftover can be for toast or such later.
bake for 30 minutes and now you have something that looks suspiciously like a semi-sweet pie. . . Tasted good though.
Is it wrong that this episode made me laugh more than the others? btw not saying the others weren't funny, just this was hit after hit
I thought this was supposed to be a MENT godammnit
Really like what you are doing with dojima
They really need to kick magumi out of the school she served her purpose
Sweet, sexy change of tone. Just as I was getting tired of the nonsense for a second. A+ writing and performance.
Dojima sounds like Phil Hartman as Lionel Hutz.
It was at 4:48 that soma knew…HE FUCKED UP.
I keep trying not to laugh at the E is for Egg part around 7:40 Something but its just so freaking stupid and I love it
whoa, Megumi had enough and made Soma her bitch for the night
08:50 BGM?
Gin's persona reminds me of the bossman in Harvey Birdman…Which is amazing
Re-purposed sex dungeon, nice.
Season 2
This is one of the best Abridged series out there right now. lol
Such great voices. Such great writing. Hilarious.
Aw yes! Can't wait till the next one!
"Well shit now its really funny"
There is more of the season then u have dun
Is there more comeing?
This episode was fk hilarious!
Holy I never laughed so hard during the 6 episodes plz update soon!
Such a venture Bros vibe from this one
Soma is Megumi's under-bitch 😁
"Aaaaaaaooooooooooh"
"Goddamnit Dave, repurpose your own Sex Dungeon!"
That made me bust a gut XD
ME-GUSTA
Shinomiya has the best voice in this, right next to Dojima.
Dude he sounds like zapp brannigan from futureama good job with the voice acting
Megmui's soo cute mad or otherwise
Cabbage rangers
XD
Megumi turned into Gaz!?!
more
When is episode 7 coming out?
Episode 7?
Where's episode 7!
Yandere Megumi! :O
I fucking love Gin's god damned voice
Add master chef Gordon Chef Ramsey in the episode sometime! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
DAMNIT! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE CLIFFHANGERS IN THE ABRIDGED OR THE MANGA!
This series is really good: I like
Abridged Me-me-megumi is one of my favorite characters now
You can reimagine this as ban and elaine vs a frenchman in cooking with gilthunder as the unfunny chairman
The best character introduced in this series Dave
That man booked a flight to be achad
Thats right girl, put a muzle on your man!
She finally snapped and put soma in his place. Nice one girl
well this best abridged i saw
Okay that dude sounds like head captain Yamamoto from Bleach a bridge
Shokugeki!!!!!!
I love that song
Greetings people on the internet
That super friends voice!!!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
This dudes announcer voice……
I thought E was for EGG
(Dave cumming noises) flawless episode lol
They made the cabbage transformation funny! Instead of it being cringy like in the anime!
0:02 This fire is outta control you gotta burn this city… BURN THIS CITY!
Dave stole the episode, hands down.
I agree with that part about the American cheese, it's not even real food.
Whoa, did Souma just say something intelligent? As stupid as he is?
😂
Does she just sit down on THAT floor…….Instant pregnancy.
I hope Dave of the Repurposed Underground Sex Dungeon is in EVERY episode from now on.
Is this food wars?
Gotoda was awesome this episode
Of course a frenchman ran away from a fight. They always do.
UNDERBITCH 😂😂😂
9.00 he had a fire in his belly mmmmhhhhh. Have I not heard that before oooooo natsu get it he has pink hair to
Soma: MEDAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
I need a continuous loop of Dave orgasming on my phone. Because reasons
Fairy tail natsu said I got fire on my belly.
gâteau basque* at a fat camp.
Ya know the plot armor is too thicc in this part of the anime.
If you guys ever make a Tick abridged you need Mezmoreeyez to voice The Tick because holy mother of pearl is he a perfect fit for it.
Crying child and other haaha
The blond hair guy :ohh my gosh I have a nutsack as a chin
9:31 just realized her coin is a chuck-e-cheese token
megumi…. the sakura of shokugeki no souma xD
LOL underbitch top bitch, these subtitles are funny
That silence just to say that's what she said
I like the Johnny bravo voice
I need Dave's painful orgasm as my ringtone
Kakashi: Don't worry… I speak muffled…
Something tells me the sex dungeon noise guy was the German one
i am glade its full screen
I keep hearing Gilthunder and it makes this even more awesome.
Dojima voice sounds so like timmy's dad in fairy odd parents
0:30 Nice touch having Gin rush to the room just to finish the joke.
lol
i was crushing on Megumi in the anime, but this version just adds more adorableness
4:54
(Satan sitting on his throne in hell): did it just get chilly in here?
Man megumi is a whore for more cooking mama. Lol i rhymed like time past
You had the perfect time for Megumin to say "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter"
Please tell me dojima is inspired by phil ken sebbeth, or was that one reference? Binging this half paying attention haha
So does that mean we'll get to see Shinomiya eat his Modus Vivendi undergarments in the near future?
Dojima is the dad Soma needs… because he's Timmy Turner's dad.
Wait where the hell is yukihiras medal